I’ve been getting some e-jabs from people that it’s been too long since my last update.
Questions about the wedding, honeymoon, and how’s it going so far, are coming in. I didn’t know my readership had expanded, but welcome to you all.
Okay, so the wedding. While we had plans for the wedding they ended up going by the way-side. Changing schedules made our scheme for a swinging bash move to a back burner. But, this was about getting married and by golly (yeah, people still say ‘golly’) get married, we would.
After some fast action we got the venue and minister. Because it was so short notice we had to cut down who could be there to a small handful.
As for the ceremony, Karen and I had talked for some time about if we’d say vows or not. I had a real struggle with this. It’s one thing to be at someones wedding and watch them say vows. It’s another when you’re the one writing and saying them. One of the things I kept tripping over was what I would say? Or really, say new. Everything I thought about saying as a vow I’d already said to Karen many times before. Then I asked myself, who am I saying this for. Me, Karen, or the others there?
Another other stumbling block was that every time I mentally went through the words I was thinking of saying to her I’d feel myself getting choked up. I’d quickly throw the emotional breaker switch before I made a fool of myself.
If I was getting all weepy just thinking about saying vows I knew I’d be a complete disaster at the wedding if I actually tried to say them. Scratch that off the list; no vows.
When I told Karen I was iffy about saying vows she felt the same way and for the same reasons. We could easily imagine ourselves, side by side, crying like a couple of lawn sprinklers.
The big day of the ceremony came and everyone was there. We went outside where family and friends gathered around us.
I was doing fine. Everyone was watching, the minister stepped up in front is us. I looked to my left and there was Karen beaming like the morning sun. Yep, I was doing fine.
Suddenly my brain realized what was happening. I was about to be married to the woman to this amazing woman. After 10 years of, not only, being single, but making a personal vow to myself that I’d never get married again I’m standing here, with a tie on, a minister in front of me, and any moment now he’s going to ask me to, “Repeat after me…”
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t feeling panic. It was a mountain of reality landing on me that my life was about to become very different; even wonderful.
In an effort to steady myself I focused on the ministers tie. No, I don’t know why I picked that. It was the first thing I saw and I went with it.
Then he said it. “Repeat after me.”
‘Okay,’ I’m thinking to myself. ‘I got this.’
“I take thee to have and to hold….”
I almost made it through all the lines. So close, but then I felt my eyes starting to sting and my throat constricting. My voice cracked and I knew any second now and I’d be crying my eyes out. My mouth moved but no sound came out.
The seconds started to pile up in front of me as Karen, the minister, and everyone nearby waited for me to say. Nothing. Dead silence as I wrestled to say the words and every time I tried I had to bite back waves of emotion.
The minster was a pro and could see what was happening. It was a huge relief when he threw me a life line. Smiling, he said, “Just nod your head if you agree.”
And I did.
I could have nodded my way through the rest of the ceremony, but pulled myself together enough to make it through the rest of the way. Soon the ceremony was over, but as anyone can tell you, that’s just the beginning of the story. Every day I’m writing new chapters in my life’s book.